Sunday, October 11, 2009

What I wrote about myself on Shaadi.com - A matrimonial Website in order to get my to-be-bride.


Mini Autobiography of a tattooed to-be-groom

This is the part where I advertise myself with adjectives like I am ‘understanding’, ‘loving’, ‘caring’, ‘patient’ etc etc so as to impress you or at least accept me as you ‘potential’ partner in life. Wow. Does life get any better than this!?! I mean honestly – do you actually buy this? Haven’t you had enough of this endless jargon?

Well, let me tell you what. Forget all this. Let’s cut out the BS and be honest. Oh but wait before anything else, let me tell you something shocking. I have tattooed 65% of my body and I plan to get it totally tattooed. If that makes me ‘evil’ and ‘satanic’ then…Oh okay…Good bye *sniff* *sniff*
…………….

Oh…You still around? Then continue reading. So if in case this clashes with your ‘religious’ set of beliefs or with the humble hope that you can have a ‘goody’ ‘goody’ product that you can showcase to world – let me tell you some more.

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I very rarely socialize. I love attention. I love to be pampered. I am very moody. And I am a typical boring male. (taking a deep breath and then…. ) I have had a very colorful life (censored) and reached a point where I wondered (and no the censored part didn’t involve recreational drugs)….. Is there all there is to life? Yes, It was a phase and yes, I enjoyed the time.

…….
Still around? Okay…. Read on…

I am not a college graduate, I don’t have savings or property from my parents which include cows, goats, live chicken and a pair of dogs, a 14 inch black and white TV and coconut trees in my lawn.

So what else? I love my PC, My collection of non-fiction books that have spanned for 16 years, I love public speaking and I am very active speaker, I love going to the gym and finally, I love living a happy life.
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So what do I want in a partner? To qualify…You must be attractive to my eyes (I am not one of those saints who would accept Jumbo the elephant and reason out that I am looking for ‘inner character’) So bottom line – you must be attractive to my eyes. So if in case you got a mental issue or a thyroid problem. Honestly, my heartfelt condolences to you. And if that is the case….. Go catch ‘Rahul’ in the next profile. He is a better bet. (Had experienced that and done that)

The other very important traits are – Chemistry, Mental Connection, Having babies, Doing house work, Intelligence, Faithfulness, Changing the babies diapers regularly, Trust and finally a bond of friendship that believes in our relationship.

Still intrigued?

2 comments:

  1. you should write comedy loy ..i mention that before ...u are talented and genuine!!!!love your writting....i am reading for the past 2 hours...

    ReplyDelete
  2. just condolences if she has thyroid problems????you touched a sensitive point ..as when i was 14 years i had major thyroid problems i was 10 kg overweight...and look at me know..miss model!!so you might want to reconsider your list!

    ReplyDelete

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Loy Machedo Award-Winning Speaker & Trainer Cell +971-50-631-85-19 Facebook - Loy Anthony Machedo Linkedin - http://ae.linkedin.com/pub/loy-machedo/25/863/92 Chat - loymachedo@yahoo.com | loymachedo@hotmail.com Email - theinvisiblestring@yahoo.co.in Blog - http://machedomax.blogspot.com Twitter –http://twitter.com/loymachedo Website - www.loymachedo.com Facebook Fan Page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=563183159#!/pages/Loy-Machedo/154673514564472

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