Smelly arm pits, Cheap cologne & a 1 Dollar Hair Cut - Part 1

Smelly arm pits, Cheap cologne & a 1 Dollar Hair Cut - Part 1

After growing my facial hair to the extent where

bed bugs and ants thought it was a new paradise

provided to them by their ant god,

I decided it was time I had to destroy this facility

Now just in case you are not a man

Or in many cases

You are not a man like me

You tend to ask yourself business & strategic questions

More like the SWOT analysis of any idea.

When

What

Where

How

Why

Since I am in a generous state of mind right now

After watching some nice adult entertainment

(note – the word states ‘adult’, so that means ‘grown up’ or ‘mature’ entertainment

And not ‘vulgar’ or ‘obscene’ or ‘naked’ – so I am indulging in ‘grown up & mature’ entertainment’)

I think I am ready to share

The secret SECRETS with you.

So coming back to the answers

After having a brain storm session

They looked somewhat like this

When – Now

What – Project Shave Peach Fuzz

Where – On the facial areas. The rest of the excessive hairs I would have to use my body trimmer. For that purpose, either I would

a) ask my watchman after paying him 10 bucks

b) ask my room-mate to do it after giving him a chocolate

c) ask my girl to do it telling her I wanted to look sexy for her

d) ask one of my playmates to do it, telling them lets try something kinky

How – With a blade and not a body trimmer

Why – To get rid of the ants and bed bugs in my face

The only thing that did stop me

From getting this bushy wushy

To be removed was

The benefits of growing one.

What are the benefits of growing a beard?

Well let me share them with you first.

Chapter 6.8

Lesson F

9.6 BENEFITS OF GROWING A BEARD:

1)      You don’t have to wash you face and even when you don’t no one knows it

2)      You don’t have to have a bath for 4 days in a row and no one can notice it

3)      Brushing your teeth can be optional provided you have a chewing gum as the facial hair absorbs the smell

4)      While drinking coffee and tea, the upper lip hair acts as a filter removing any particles from your tea / coffee

5)      You get recognized and respected as a old man

6)      You can scratch your face and look cool

7)      You can play a game of plucking your facial hair with a pair of tweezers when bored – (trust me its fun.)

8)      You feel creative when you start rubbing your beard violently

9)      Your cat thinks of you as a new cat on the block when you rub your face on her face

9.5) Your cat enjoys its body being scratched as it thinks of your face as a body scratcher

9.6) Your cat keep looks at you with a romantic sense of appreciation for your new found looks – which improves the bond between man and cat.

So, I had to decide to sacrifice these amazing benefits when I decided to shave off my pubic hair which was growing on my facial spots.

So, now it finally came down to

Which place and which barber.

Now for those of you who are not from Dubai, Sharjah or the United Arab Emirates

Let me share a perspective here.

Barbers here come in all kinds of shapes, sizes and smell

You can choose from a wide variety of them

For instance

You have:

1)      Indian barbers

2)      Pakistani barbers

3)      Bangaldeshi barbers

4)      White skinned barbers

5)      White skinned wanna be middle east show off barbers

6)      Philipino barbers

7)      Gay barbers

8)      Sexually desperate barbers

9)      Cheap but expensive barbers

10)   Cheating barbers

11)   Sophisticated barbers

12)   And finally

13)   Over priced barbers.

14)   My kind of barbers.

Let me tell you the difference between all of them first and then move on to another exciting bit.