A tall-tale speech I am going to give today at Rayan Hotel about me.

• Today I would like to tell you my story.
• Please don’t mind, I am a bit nervous because this is the first time I am speaking in English for the first time.
• My name is Loy Vijaykumar Ghadghaz and I am 9 years old.
• I was born in Hiroshima. A small town in Japan.
• My size looks big because when I was born a nuclear bomb exploded next to my house and because of the radiation, I keep growing double the size every month.
• My parents names are Dr. Balan and Sailesh
• Who is the father and who is the mother, that you have check and find out
• When I was small, I was sent to planet Mars for my education with the Zulu Tribe
• After schooling for high school, I went to study with Obama at Harward university. He was my best friend. And I told him, if he would believe in the principle of change, he would one day even become the president of the USA.
• Following that I for my college I joined The Osama Bin Ladin School of Economics
• I completed my graduation successfully with specialization is releasing gas and suicide bombing. I will never forget my best friends. His name was Mohanlal & Mammotty. They used to always ask me tips on how to act. I thought them and told them, the secret – if they wanted to get movie contacts, all they had to do was grow a big stomach like mine and have some hair on it while wearing a lungi.
• After graduating, I escaped Afghanistan in the stomach of a camel and came to Dubai but then someone killed the camel, put him a de-freezer and after 100 years when he was cut open to be fried as hamburger at Burger king, they found me sitting there.
• So, I manage to escape and for 2 years I went around searching for a job.
• In Dubai my first job was that of a belly dancer
• Following that given my exceptional caliber and job performance, I was employed by Dubai as the personal adviser to the Sheikh
• After successfully giving advice and crashing the economy, I was called by the president of India to be awarded the highest civilian award “The Bharat Ratna”
• Following that, I had to come down here for this contest.
• On a personal front, I am successfully married to Sandhya Ashokan.
• And we had 2 kids (showing my guinea pigs)
• About my future - You see last month I sang a wonderful song lagoon.
• Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
• And this song was so good, I got offered a big contract in the music industry.
• My album will be releasing shortly titled “Loy’s and his toy”
• All proceeds of this album will go for the Charity ‘to feed my children’
• My other activity is that I run a business that produces very unique products.
• You see till date there have been pregnancy tests products.
• But no one has had a dumb test product.
• You see you can make out how dumb they are.
• All you have to do is lick it
• And it shows you if you are dumb, stupid or like me smart.
• If you want any futurther information about this product, please log on to my website, www.Iamsostupid.com
• One day, I hope to stand on this same stage with my son, Junior Loy and share with you my next life story.
• If anyone of you are interested in getting a free autographed copy of my book, please call 800-I-AM-AN-IDOT and you will get a free copy today.