How to improve body language and gestures.

You can divide your non-verbal communicators into 5 categories.

1. Hands
2. Legs
3. Face
4. Body
5. Stage

Hands

1. Hands must be used to communicate a message. The process I use is this:
2. Have a speech ready that you would like to deliver.
3. What you do then is deliver the speech WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD AT ALL.
4. Video tape this and have a look.
5. Have a look and ask yourself – does my hands speak my message?
6. If yes, you are doing a good job.
7. If not, work to make it happen.

Word of advice

1. Larger the audience – bigger the gestures.
2. Make sure your gestures are in sync with your verbal message

Legs

1. Some speakers believe in walking around and using the whole stage area, while some others feel a small space is enough.
2. Find out how much space is comfortable to you.
3. Move ONLY if there is a purpose OR you want to connect to another part of the audience.

Word of advice

1. When you move forward – it is to make a point stronger and focus on that point.
2. When you move backward – it is to make a point weaker or show the larger picture.
3. When you want to make sense / chronological point – Move (if you are on the stage facing the audience) left to right i.e. provided the stage is large.
4. Avoid walking around like a desperate person or as they call it ‘hungry lion’

Face

Follow the same procedure as stated in ‘Hands’

Body

1. Your posture is very important – Have a power posture
2. Avoid standing on one leg or having the weight of your body on one side
3. Let your body move when there is an expression you want to express
4. When you lower you body – it is done for a sad moment
5. When you elevate your body – it is for a positive / happy moment. The higher – the happier

Word of advice

1. Your posture is very important – Have a power posture
2. Avoid standing on one leg or having the weight of your body on one side

Stage

1. The stage can be used for
1. past, present or future.
2. particular incidents
3. to show a person’s presence
4. to state a point of wisdom

Word of advice

1. I normally use 8 areas of a stage to communicate my message
2. Use the stage ONLY if you are comfortable with it – not because someone said it.

How to control stage fear.

Let me tell you a secret.

Even after 15 years of speaking I still get butterflies in my stomach. I get cold hands. I get a wild beating heart. And yes, I do break into a cold sweat.

But the trick of the trade is to change this nervousness into visible Excitement, Enthusiasm and Energy.

10 Tricks of the Trade

1. Practice – Practice makes perfect. The more your practice the better you get at it. Keep practicing till you feel you can remember what you are supposed to do even if you were half asleep. I have known people who have practiced a speech more than 800 times simply because they wanted to achieve perfection.
2. Deep Breathing – Breath in slowly in 8 seconds till your lungs are filled up. Hold your breath for 4 seconds. And then breath out slowly in 10 seconds or more.
3. Talk to yourself – Tell yourself to Relax while S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G the word. Your mind has a magic way of listening to you.
4. Exercise – Though it may sound funny but if you are physically fit in terms of jogging and have a healthy heart, you would be able to control your nervousness easily. Just to share with you, I double my cardio to nearly 2 hours of cycling / jogging nearly for a month before any intense competition. That helps me relax
5. Coffee / Tea / Smoking – Though I am not in favor of such addictives, some people claim they feel relaxed using them.
6. Positive energy – See positive pictures and surround yourself with positive people. It helps.
7. Mock Rehearsals – Come early to the venue. Keep practicing at the venue till you get familiar with the sights, sounds and the stage. Many of my competitors have been known to practice for days on a the stage until they get familiar with their surroundings. Familiar surrounds always ease nervousness.
8. External Help – Ask your well wishers to sit where you can see them and ask them to nod their heads in an understanding manner (up and down as a ‘yes-I-understand’ nod). A familiar warm hearted smile always eases nervousness while you speak.
9. Magic Charm – Do you have anything that you consider good luck? If yes, use it. A charm can always do wonders. But keep in mind – don’t have something so big that it bulges out of your pocket or falls out. Just get it with you and know it is there to bring you good luck.
10. Sleep – A good nights sleep always works like a charm – any day!

How to improve voice modulation.

What I have done.

1. Exaggerated Movements - Learn to stretch your lips, open your mouth wide and pronounce every word properly during practice.
2. Diaphragm - Learn to speak from your diaphragm (In the anatomy of mammals, the thoracic diaphragm is a sheet of muscle extending across the bottom of the rib cage.)
3. Loud - When practicing – practice loudly and enunciate clearly
4. Sing - Learn to sing loudly even if you have a bad voice.
5. Warm up - Always warm up before you speak - Practice talking and exercising your vocal chords before your speech
6. Water - Drink slightly warm water before you speak and then drink a sip again of normal water before you speak
7. Shhhh Practice – Go some place alone and say SHHHH as loud and as much as you can on a single breath. This will give you a warm up for your diaphragm.
8. Fast, Slow, Loud, Slow – Practice reading your speech in the 4 styles stated.

How to approach Table Topics / Extempore / Impromtu Speeches

I would require 20 to 30 minutes to explain everything I know. However, here are few key points.

The 4 Powerful Pillar Points to any table topics are:

1. Don’t be afraid to make a total fool of yourself - Learn to relax and enjoy the moment.
2. Approach the table topic with a mind set to fail
3. Don’t move from the stage until you see the Red Light – Show you enjoy the spot light.
4. If nothing else, just keep talking any nonsense.

The 6 secret steps.

1. Listen very carefully to the topic
2. Repeat the topic in your head as it is being stated.
3. Capture the ‘key’ words of the topic
4. Visualize the topic in you mind as a movie
5. Try to connect the ‘key’ word to whatever comes to you mind.
6. As you keep talking, try to visualize the sequence in your head (Remember you can think faster than you speak)

The standard key approach to any topic are the following:

1. OOOC – Opinion, Opinion, Opinion and Conclusion

(When you get a topic that requires your opinion, give 3 opinions of your and end with a conclusion eg. What do you think would happen if the Gold prices came down?)

2. EEEC – Example, Example, Example and Conclusion

(When you get a topic that requires your opinion, give 3 examples and finally end with a conclusion eg. Who do you think is smarter – Man or Woman?)

3. OBC – The standard Opening, Body and Conclusion

(Do I need to explain this?)

4. If / But format or Agree to Disagree Approach

(A situation is given to you. You site an example for the topic. You site another example against the topic. Then finally you give your conclusion in the end. Eg – Do you think its okay for men to take the role of housewives?)

5. Take a stand approach.

(A question is presented to you and you take one side of the argument and make your stand clear. Do you think sex education should be allowed in schools?)

6. Dissect approach

(A crazy topic is given to you. Explain what you understand of the topic. Normally, such topics don’t make sense but how you dissect them makes the difference. Why did the chicken cross the road?)

Reflections after an attempted suicide.

Reflections after an attempted suicide.

Not many memories are as powerful as that of the day when you tried to kill yourself.

To suicide.

To set yourself free.

To get away from it all.

To move into absolute silence.

2^nd December 2002 I attempted to do just that.

Tired of a spirit shattered by failures.

Tired of a mind ripped by torture.

Tired of a life poisoned by pain.

When one sinks so deep into the pit of frustration, depression and humiliation, what other way is left?

So the answer was clear to me.

So on 2^nd December 2002

At 2’O clock in the darkness.

In the freezing temperatures of Dublin

I decided to end it all.

Dublin was a sinister silent sleeping city

And my grave.

All alone in the blackness

I walked 17 miles

Right up to the highway

The Icy wind

The bone chilling coldness

The wet noise as my feet took me ahead

My face pale white

My teeth chattering

My fingers cold and numb

I stood at my destination.

The highway of death.

The lone road of going to a point of no return.

And there a light shone on my face

The angel of death

The fast moving truck

The final destination

The math was very simple.

A monstrous machine of madness moving at 100 km per hour

A diabolical demon of darkness that darkened everything at sight

A icy cold night that made everything slip its grasp

And there I stood in the corner

Blinded with its light

Knowing fully well that this was the moment

The moment that would end it all

The moment that would free me forever

The moment that would break those chains of pain

Closer and closer it came

Bigger and Bigger it became

Scarier and Scarier I felt

And there it came

A few more seconds

A few more breaths

A few more…and it was all over.

After 9 months of repeated blows both mentally, emotionally and spiritually

I could no longer handle it

I had failed beyond anything else

And I could not imagine going back home and showing my face of failure.

Rage welled up inside me

Bitter and Betrayal burned into my heart

It had to end.

It had to

And it would

I had left home with pride

I had left home with happiness

I had left home with hope

But now I was wasted.

So there I stood.

Just one more step ahead

And it was all over…

And I picked up my foot ready to take that step forward….

And then it happened…..

For the strangest reason

For which I could and would never be able to explain

It happened.

Just as I was about to take that step

I felt someone scratch my back…

Right from the time I was a child

From the time I was a baby

My mom always scratched my back

To put me to sleep

To make me feel comfy

To let me know how much she loved me

A ritual of love that continued well over my adult life

And at that moment

When I was freezing cold

When I was absolutely cold

When I was numb with cold

I felt my back being scratched.

And instead of moving that foot front….

I took that step….back

I turned around

And searched, screamed and sought my mom

The scratch felt so real

I actually searched for my mom

Crying

Weeping

Sobbing

I screamed her name

But no one was there

As the truck zoomed off

I lay there alone in the darkness

With rain, wind and mud slapping across my body…

I broke down and I wept bitterly

Wept my heart out

Wept all those 9 months of hurt

As minutes and minutes of silence went by

As tears and tears of pain poured by

As sobs and sobs of hurt washed by

I picked myself up from the dirt

And walked silently back home

I realized one thing

One small thing….

At that moment

In my deepest darkest most desperate hour

He was there for me.

He was there.

And in the words not said

In the exchanges not made

In the presence not shown

He made me realize

That I was here for a purpose

And he would not let go of me

He would not give up on me

He would not let me die

Until I proved and lived and breathed my destiny.

You see

Not many memories are as powerful as that of the day when you tried to kill yourself.

To suicide.

To set yourself free.

To get away from it all.

To move into absolute silence.

And in that most powerful moment

I realized

There was a God

And when I needed him the most,

He would be there for me.

He would be there.

May be you don’t believe in him.

May be you don’t believe in this.

May be you don’t think he exists.

That’s not important.

What is important for me is this

I experienced him in my life and I know for a fact….

That my God loves me.

The greatest speech in the world

The greatest speech in the world

Who gave the world’s greatest speech?

I decided to check the guru of all answers – Google.

Seems the longest speech in the world was Dr. Donald Thomas' speech which lasted 32 hours and 25 minutes.

The shortest was for 1 sec.

Okay fine, 1 sec & .4 milli second.

It was so short, they had no idea who gave it.

The most controversial speeches in the world were by John "Birdman" Bryant

Well, since there is nothing here, lets go back in time.

2008 – Obama “Yes, we can”

2006 - President Chavez who in his speech to the UN in 2006 (referring to Bush who came and spoke at the same place a day before) said “The devil came here yesterday and it smells of sulphur”.

2003: The ‘Iraq War Eve of Battle Speech’ by Tim Colins? A master piece in writing but sadly, he never meant a word of it.

1997: Remakrs upon the death of Diana, Princess of Wales by Tony Blair? (notably quoted 'Born a Lady, Became a Princess, Died a Saint': The Reaction to the Death of Diana, Princess of Wales)

1996: I am an African by Thabo Mbeki

1987: Tear down this Wall by Ronald Regan to Soviet Union Leader Mikhail Gorbachev

1974: Richard Nixon’s resignation speech

1964: Ballot or the Bullet by Malcolm X (editors note – they gave him the bullet)

1963: I am prepared to die by Nelson Mandela (even God let him live so long after this speech)

1963: I have a Dream by Martin Luther King Jr. (he died afterwards)

1963 – Ich Bin Ein Berliner by John F. Kennedy (editors note - According to an urban legend, Kennedy made a slightly embarrassing grammatical error by saying "Ich bin ein Berliner," referring to himself not as a citizen of Berlin, but as a common pastry

1961 - Ask what you can do for your country - John Fitzgerald Kennedy (The inaugural address of John F. Kennedy was the only inaugural address ever delivered by U.S. President John F. Kennedy. Kennedy made the speech during inaugural ceremonies on January 20, 1961, immediately after Chief Justice Earl Warren had sworn Kennedy in. The address is 1364 words and took 13 minutes and 59 seconds to deliver, from the first word to the last word, not including applause at the end, making it the fourth-shortest inaugural address ever delivered. With the highest number of words per minute – 105. Famous quotes from this address include: "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country" and "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate."

1957: Longest speech in the United Nations by Krishna Menon (an Indian nationalist and politician. He led the Indian delegation to the United Nations (1952 - 1962), On 23 January 1957 he delivered an unprecedented 8-hour speech defending India’s stand on Kashmir.^[1] To date, Krishna Menon’s speech is the longest ever delivered in the United Nations Security Council)

1956: We will bury you - Nikita Khrushchev (The phrase may well have been intended to mean the Soviet Union would outlast the West, as a more complete version of the quote reads: "Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you" - a meaning more akin to "we will attend your funeral" than "we shall cause your funeral")

In 1940’s the prize went to Indians -

1948: The light has gone out of our lives - Jawaharlal Nehru

1947: Tryst with destiny - Jawaharlal Nehru

1942: Quit India speech - Mahatma Gandhi (The Quit India speech is a speech made by Mahatma Gandhi on August 8th 1942, the movement is best described by his call to Do or Die)

In the 1940’s the honors were taken by the British namely the finest speaker of the British Empire:

1940: Blood, toil, tears, and sweat by Winston Churchill

1940: We shall fight on the beaches - Winston Churchill

1940: This was their finest hour - Winston Churchill

1939: The luckiest man on the face of the earth - Lou Gehrig (his career was tragically cut short by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), now commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig's Disease.)

Checked the rest…

Not worth mentioning.

So Finally…

Now who gave the best speech in the world?

Well the chap did not win any Trophy,

Have any newspaper speak good about him,

Nor have anyone applaud him

But he gave people hope.

Requested them forgiveness.

Asked them to lead a good life.

And it was a speech understood

By the young and old

By the uneducated and the philosophers

By the good and the bad.

That is why even today

The most simplest of stories he told other people

Made even the most uneducated understand

One of the most complex theories ever

Of God, Heaven and Hell.

And proof of this?

Today his followers are in the Billions

He is the most famous man ever

And finally

Love him or hate him, He is still the most talked of man even today.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

The world greatest speech

Was given by the worlds greatest speaker.

It was in the time of 30 BC

By a man

Who some say died

While some others says never can.

His name is…..

Jesus Christ.

The greatest question ever asked.

The greatest question ever asked.

Who am I?

I have read this question many a times.

Sometimes I have been tempted to ask this question to myself.

While the other times I have realized, there is no answer to this question – so why bother ask?

I mean is there any answer to this question?

If there is, could it be possibly the plain stupid answers like:

• Your name?
• Nationality?
• Father’s name?
• Name of your tribe?
• Some cool identity that you give yourself?
• Some secret identity you have?
• Something you assume you are?
• Some nick name your father gave you?
• Or most lame of all the religion you belong to?

I mean even if you find the answer to this question, who the bloody hell cares?

And what is the purpose behind it?

Are you going to see any difference to your life?

Would you meet God and shake hands with him?

Would it make you a better person?

I mean why the hell should we ask ourselves this question?

Is not worth our time, effort and thought process.

So what is the most important question in this world?

Could it be something related to God?

• Or which God is real?
• Or which religion will survive in the end?
• Would we go to heaven or hell?

Or something stupid like

• Which came first – Chicken or egg?
• Why do the westerners wipe their bottoms with tissue paper and Asians with water?
• What if men became pregnant?

OR something thought provoking like

• Should sex changes be allowed?
• Can children enjoy free sex?
• Is it okay to marry an animal?
• Why are we fooling ourselves?

People – wake up.

This is not the most important question in the world.

The most important question in the world is the most hardest to answer, yet the most simplest.

It is what I found out after 7 years of trying to find the most important question in the world.

And I ask you this question today.

Are you happy?

Are you truly happy?

Are you really, truly and absolutely happy with your life.

If you can say yes, you have lived every moment meaningfully.